Tuesday, May 1, 2007


I don't know when the last time I went to the dentist was, at least not for routine care. I had three of my wisdom teeth pulled 3 1/2 years ago, and I had another tooth pulled about 10 years ago. I have a tooth that started giving me trouble several months ago, but it's been manageable, so I've put off taking care of it. My dental insurance kicked in a month ago, so I decided to bite the bullet and go in. My major criteria for picking a dentist was sedation. Knock my happy little butt out before poking around in my mouth. I had x-rays and a thorough cleaning, and hopefully it won't be long before I can get that tooth fixed or pulled (I'd like to keep it, but financially that will be easier said than done).

Considering my limited criteria, I chose well. The hygienist was so careful not to hurt me and backed off whenever something did hurt. I can birth a child without batting an eye, but even slight oral pain kills me. Go figure. Anyway, I keep looking at my teeth in the mirror. They look so much better since being cleaned. They aren't super white, but they're whiter than they've been in years. Now I can't wait to get the rest of it done.

On a humorous note, he said that he would advise me the way he would his sister. I couldn't help hoping that his sister didn't torment him when they were kids.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Thought for the day

I took four semesters of Spanish in college. It's been a couple of years ago now, and I haven't kept up with it, but a nuance of the language popped into my head last night and sparked a thought. In Spanish certain feelings/sensations are spoken of as things one has as opposed to states of being. In Spanish, you don't say "I am hungry", you say "Yo tengo hambre" (I have hunger). Emotions aren't spoken of in that way, but what if they were? If I have something, I control it. If I am something, it has me and therefor may much more easily control me. So if I *have* anger (or other emotions), I can more easily control it. If I *am* angry (or whatever), then it has me and guess who's in control then?

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Up too early

It's 10:00am and I've caught up on reading blogs; I've unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher; I've baked a batch of blueberry muffins and I've watched far too much TV. Oh, and now I'm writing my first blog post in two weeks. How have I managed to accomplish so much on a Saturday morning? I was up at 4:00 this morning. Not by choice, I tried to go back to sleep, but it wasn't happening.

I really haven't felt like writing lately (so I haven't). I know I have at least one comment to respond to, and I will here in a minute (thank you for reading, and I didn't mean to ignore you), but I wanted to post a quick update.

Hubby's back to work. He's working as a temp on the graveyard shift doing remodeling and he has had a job offer (pending background check) driving a route and he has a second interview this week. The job offer he has pays $700 a week and he kinda wants it. The other job pays half as much and he *really* wants that one. As far as I'm concerned, there's no decision, take the money. Just kidding. I told him if he got offered the job he really wants, he should take it. We need the money enough for me to insist that he get back to work, but we aren't desperate enough for him to pass up his dream job.

I was beyond upset with him for a while, but now I'm pretty proud of him.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

What kind of soul are you?

All very true for me.

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges.
You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions.
Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist.
Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!).

Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others.
And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you.
You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically.
Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas.

Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul
What Kind of Soul Are You?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I made it

I posted that I was in really bad shape Sunday evening. Well, I made it throughout without doing anything harmful. I actually started to feel better after writing. Thanks for letting me vent.

Hubby finally started to warm up yesterday. He and I worked together last night to get him a decent resume together. It could be better, but it's not bad. I wouldn't have minded going to the bookstore and perusing some resume books for good words and phrases. He should be able to use what we have to find something this week, but if not, we'll do that this weekend.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

On a brighter note...

I redid my blog layout. The only thing I don't like is that it's all scrunched on the left side of the screen and has a wide blank strip on the right. I'll figure out how to fix that later. I also don't like that my blog description fades into the photo. I'll figure that out later, too.

I'm just proud of myself that I found one I mostly liked, I found a photo that I liked, and I figured out how to plug the photo in at the top where I wanted it. Please, let me know what you think.

Unbelievable nerve

After walking out on his job Thursday, my husband asked me to write a resume for him. I asked him to write out his job history while I was at work on Friday, and I would do it over the weekend. I got home Friday and HE HADN'T EVEN STARTED!!! Son of b**ch. I asked him to estimate for me our bills. He blew a f**king fuse! He went on about how I only had him around for his money, etc., etc. and stormed out of the house. He came back, but he didn't speak to me all weekend. He even went for coffee without me yesterday (that's our weekend thing).

This afternoon, I told him I needed to go to the store and asked if he wanted to go. He said he'd like to, but wanted to take a shower first. I waited while he watched an hour of TV before taking a shower, then waited a half-hour for his hair to dry. When we finally left, he wanted to drive around and look for some place that he'd wanted to go last night. Ok, fine. When we FINALLY made it to the store, he had the nerve to tell ME to hurry up so we could get home and he could do his job history so I could write his resume!!!! I just about blew a f**king fuse. I was so mad I couldn't even see straight. THEN he had the nerve to say that one day he would leave and not come back. I wanted so bad to say "please do".

I can't believe he walks with the size of balls it takes to ask me to hurry up so that I can do something at the last minute that I should have started at least by this morning; and doing it after not talking to me all weekend, and THAT after storming out of the house. He left again a little while ago and said he'd be back later. Such a large part of me hopes he doesn't. God help me, but right in this moment...

When I was at my worst in my first marriage, I self-injured a lot. I only have a couple of small scars, and I haven't done it since I got out of that marriage, but I want to right now. I want to so bad I can f**king taste it. I'm not, at least not yet. I hope I don't. But I don't remember the last time I cried so damned hard. I can just barely see what I'm typing right now. I can't even call my mom because my phone is dead and my charger's at work. God, I'm so angry.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Thumb-sucking feline?

I was watching kittens sleep and talking on the phone with my mom this morning and one of the kittens moved in its sleep. I noticed that his "thumb" (dewclaw) was near his mouth, and a few seconds later, I notice him sucking on it. I have never seen a cat suck its thumb before, and likely never will again, but I thought it was really cute.